


What is This

by orphan_account



Category: One Piece
Genre: Dirty Talk, Kinktober, Kinktober 2019, M/M, Smut, fluff actually, handjobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 16:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Basically the collection of Zosan smuts that I’m just leaving here... In the dust... It was supposed to be kinktober but I only got two out! I’m not a professional or veteran whatsoever, so please don’t judge my smut writing skills ahaIf I ever get inspired I might add more but for now.. probs not





	1. Handjob

**Author's Note:**

> I probably won’t reach 26 days, much less the 31 that it was supposed to be. Either way I’m trying! Also, I don’t have a set rule of who is top and who is bottom. I am more comfortable writing Zoro as top but I believe that could change at any point!

_It’s hot._

Sanji thinks of this as Zoro nips at the side of his neck, hands unbuttoning his shirt from the top down. He knows Zoro likes ripping through things like the brute he is, and it makes him feel a little happy that he’d listened to him earlier and decided that Sanji’s shirts weren’t old rags. 

They’re currently shoved against the wall of the storage room, and Sanji can barely remember how they’d even gotten here. One second he was trying to get ingredients for breakfast up and going, enjoying the silent morning air, and then all of a sudden he’d received a whole face-full of Zoro. Before he knew it he was in the corner of the room, ass plastered to the wall next to some boxes with Zoro mauling his mouth. 

Yeah, Sanji was also frustrated that they couldn’t spend as much time with each other, but Zoro seems so much like an eager puppy that it brings a small smile to Sanji’s face. 

They’ve now been kissing for a few minutes, and things only really escalate when Zoro’s finally got all of his buttons undone. He’s glad he didn’t wear the usual coat and tie and was just lazy enough to put on a dress shirt. 

Zoro’s rough hands slide down his torso and Sanji feels a shiver follow the touch, his own hands wandering on Zoro’s still clothed torso. His head hits the wall with a thud and he closes his eyes, listening as his belt hits the floor just after Zoro’s hands travel further down. A hiss leaves his mouth when Zoro shoves his hand down the front of his pants, apparently losing some of the patience he was showing earlier. Zoro’s lips finally leave Sanji’s skin when he tugs the cook’s erect cock out in the open, and there’s so little time before Zoro does the same to his own member that Sanji snorts at his eagerness.

Zoro probably rolls his eyes before he spits in his hand, pressing closer to Sanji and reaching the same hand in between both of them. All thoughts of amusement leave the cook’s brain when Zoro grabs both of their arousals in his hand—his knees actually nearly buckle because of the feeling, and now Zoro’s the one chuckling.

“Feel good?” Zoro asks teasingly, and to be honest Sanji would prefer some more slide and less of the friction, but shit if Zoro’s hand didn’t feel good. He does, however, spit out an insult along the lines of “ _stupid marimo_ ”. 

The lack of moisture isn’t a problem when he gets them both going, and Sanji starts to let out gasped moans when Zoro simultaneously thrusts against him and twists his wrist. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sanji swears, and he can’t really do much but grasp at Zoro’s shoulders, head falling back again as he whimpers. Zoro’s forehead falls onto Sanji’s right shoulder and he squeezes their arousals tighter, making the blond nearly choke. The guy’s grip is outright deadly and Sanji can hazily remember Vivi saying that Zoro once nearly crushed someone’s head with only his hand (was it Miss Monday?). 

It frankly feels so good that Sanji has to press his back against the wall to keep standing, the slick sound of their cocks rubbing together only making him feel even weaker. Zoro doesn’t seem much better, groaning and swearing under his breath with every flick of his wrist. 

“You’re a menace, honestly,” Sanji says in between baited breaths and Zoro lifts his head, letting out a huff of laughter before he captures the blond’s lips in a kiss again. 

Things get a little more frantic at that point and Sanji just lets his jaw drop when Zoro continues working on them, his thumb rubbing on both of their wet tips. He swears he doesn’t usually come so fast, but there’s something about the atmosphere that brings him closer to the edge. Just the thought that it’s early morning; every other Strawhat most likely still sleeping while Zoro and Sanji fool around, could make him hard any day. 

He feels at a loss of what to do (he’s always been a gentleman who does all the work) so he decides to mess with Zoro, pulling back to teasingly lick Zoro’s lower lip and tug on it with his teeth. He also reaches his hand down to try and wrap around Zoro’s and help, but the man before him merely lets out a scowl and quickens his strokes, his unoccupied arm wrapping around the arch in Sanji’s back when Sanji cries out. The cook can tell that this is the last stretch, and Zoro ends up basically holding all of Sanji’s weight when the blond’s stomach clenches in response to the rise in his gut. It doesn’t take much before Sanji feels himself tip over the edge. His head falls into the crook of Zoro’s neck and he gasps hard, shooting his load and further dirtying the swordsman’s fist. He knows Zoro’s inwardly smirking at his victory for getting Sanji to cum first, but the cook can barely care when Zoro thrusts a few more times against him and he has to hold back desperate moans at how perfectly that rides out his orgasm, hand gripping the material of Zoro’s ratty shirt. 

A few more seconds and it would’ve started to become over-stimulation, but it’s worth it though, because Zoro cums with a deep groan that makes Sanji feel all tingly. Zoro falls against Sanji who’s finally regained some of the strength in his legs, letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction. 

Sanji feels blissful, and way too tired even after having slept a good eight hours last night. He’s tempted to take out a cigarette and light it, but his thoughts get halted when Zoro releases his grasp, the blond mentally squirming at the uncomfortable feeling. 

He forgets about it a second later, because he feels Zoro’s hand run across his bare stomach and it would’ve been comforting had he not smeared their finish over his skin, as disgustingly as it sounds. 

It takes a second, and then another, before Sanji growls: “I’m gonna fucking kill you.” 

“Just try,” Zoro quips and then the unfair bastard tugs at Sanji’s spent cock, pulling a yelp from the man. 

Zoro gets kicked across the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are greatly, greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading either way :)  
I’m also taking requests for any kinky stuff because although I have my list of 31 from Tumblr, some of them I’m not comfortable writing so fire away


	2. Dirty Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji wants Zoro to try his hand at dirty talking.

“Sanji-kun!” Nami calls from across the deck, and Sanji promptly bounces his way over, food set aside for now. 

“Yes, _mellorine_?” Sanji questions, sidling up next to her in her sun chair. She flicks the newspaper in her hands to straighten it, drawing the cook’s attention to the contents. 

_ Oh _ , Sanji thinks, recognizing that Nami’s got her attention on the romance column of the paper. She points at one thing in particular, and Sanji reads the words “interesting ways to please your lover in bed”. He kind of can’t believe that his Nami-san would read these things, but it is an interesting turn of events. 

“I was wondering if you agreed with all of these, mostly since you and Zoro are together,” Nami speaks casually, and Sanji doesn’t answer immediately but his face and no doubt his ears go red, still unaccustomed to Nami’s casual mentions of his and Zoro’s relationship. It’s only been two weeks since they came out to the crew anyway. (They were all shocked about Sanji but surprisingly not Zoro, which confused him because he didn’t think—whatever, he’ll save the tale for another time.) 

Sanji tries to laugh his embarrassment off but it comes out obviously awkward, the cook quickly speaking up to cover it: “Why would you want to know about anything between me and that brute? You should keep to your wonderful ways, Nami-san. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.” 

“Oh come on,” Nami urges, pulling her sunglasses up to the top of her head and squinting a little at the change of light. A second later she stares at Sanji with those beautiful eyes of hers, blinking her eyelashes. “Can’t a girl satisfy her curiosity sometimes?” 

Sanji can’t say no to that. 

“We do some of these,” he says quickly, trying his hardest not to trip over his words. 

“Like what?” 

His eyes rake over the list again, seeing things like oral, foreplay, bondage, dirty talk—_god! Why were these things being published in the daily newspaper?_ It’s then that Sanji realizes it’s not a normal newspaper, the edges bordered with a deep purple colour. Nami had probably picked it up at the last island or something. Ladies enjoyed things like this, he guessed. 

The things one could find in the Grand Line. 

“Obviously...we only do the first two,” Sanji says, unwilling to speak such foul words in front of a mademoiselle. They’re vanilla things either way, like the long foreplay and oral. 

“Hmmm, really? I’d expect you guys to be more adventurous,” a smooth voice suddenly states, and Sanji’s probably a tomato by now because Robin’s shown up. “Zoro looks like he’d enjoy many of these.” 

“I do agree,” Nami says as an afterthought, and Sanji’s about to combust. 

“Ladies,  _please_,” he begs, hoping that they’ll spare him from any more of this discussion. The words do, however, make Sanji think of what Zoro and him actually  do do. They really only check off two things from this list of ten, and it kind if baffles Sanji that they’ve never done some of these. Dirty talk, for example, is something people expected to happen pretty quickly. 

When he used to do the occasional one night stands with a female customer, he’d dirty talk as if that was his purpose in life. The ladies dig his French. 

But with Zoro, it’s different. Sanji’s not sure if Zoro would appreciate it, and the moment they start kissing he loses all rational thought either way. He couldn’t even dirty talk with Zoro if he wanted to. 

That brings a thought to his mind.

Zoro, dirty talking to  _him_.  _With that deep voice of his. _

Now _that_... is a thought Sanji wouldn’t mind exploring. 

It probably shows on his face that he’s interested in something, because Nami and Robin giggle behind their hands. It should be embarrassing times three thousand, but Sanji’s now a little too occupied. 

He wants to try this out. 

-

Sanji finds the perfect opportunity after a few days, where the two of them are wrestle-kissing in the hammock while the rest of the crew are out. 

“Hey, marimo,” Sanji breathes out, successfully rolling them over so that he’s on top. 

“Shitty cook,” Zoro answers. 

Sanji runs a hand down Zoro’s toned front, still just as marvelled at the feel as he was the first time. His eyes follow his hand before his gaze flicks back up to Zoro’s curious gaze. “Give me some dirty talk.” 

Zoro furrows his eyebrows, hands settling on Sanji’s waist. The gears in his mind are almost visibly turning, and Sanji feels a little tense, unknowing of what will come out of his mouth. 

“...This room is pretty dirty right now.” 

Sanji’s hand stops—actually, the whole of him stops. His brain as well. 

Aha. What did he expect from this moss brain. 

And then he’s laughing so hard that he doubles over, his forehead pressed against Zoro’s chest as he shakes in bouts of laughter. 

“What?” Zoro asks, and his thumbs stop the little circles they were drawing on Sanji’s hips, most likely feeling a little humiliated. 

“That’s not—“ Sanji wheezes, “You’re incredible. I’m sorry.” 

“Well I didn’t know you wanted to hear about dirty shit,” Zoro grumbles, “Sorry I didn’t go dirty enough. What was I supposed to talk about, Franky’s working station?” 

“No,” Sanji says, and he sits up to squish Zoro’s cheeks in his hands. The scowl he gets for it is priceless. “You’re _sow cyute,_” Sanji mocks even though it’s what he’s truly thinking. 

“Shut the fuck up, ero-cook. I didn’t want to shame you but you’re into some weird things.” 

“That’s not it,” Sanji laughs, and he feels a warm feeling in his chest begin to develop, suddenly realizing that these strange kinks didn’t really matter either way. Zoro would do things the way he wanted to do things, and the cook is pretty sure he’d love all of those things. He ends up laying the side of his face on Zoro’s chest, basically attached to the man’s front like he was a stuffed bear. 

For some reason he’s glad that Zoro‘s the idiot he is. 

“Let’s just forget about it, it’s not important.” 

Zoro grumbles something and then his hands resume the soft circles on Sanji’s waist, a moment later saying: “I ruined the mood, didn’t I.” 

“A little bit, but that’s to be expected from an idiot like you.” 

Zoro just grunts.

The cook feels a little bad that he just made fun of Zoro for not knowing one of the million sinful things in this world, but when he thinks back to all the times Zoro’s made fun of him for even more embarrassing things, he doesn’t feel so bad anymore. Either way, a second later Sanji gets an idea to stop Zoro from brooding, sliding his body up until his lips are next to Zoro’s ear. Zoro gets the message that they’re going to continue, placing kisses on the side of Sanji’s neck when the man settles right above him. 

All moments of Sanji’s previous dirty talk with women flash in his mind, and it’s as if those times were all building up to _right now_, where he first tugs at Zoro’s earrings with his teeth before whispering the filthiest things he can think of, hand traveling down Zoro’s torso to rile him up even further. He takes his time getting to the band of Zoro’s underwear, but when his hands sneaks under the fabric, he abruptly finishes off with—“_That_, is dirty talk”, and pulls away. 

Zoro’s red face is Sanji’s victory. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry
> 
> Yes this isn’t smutty at all ahahaha I just thought the concept of Zoro trying and failing at dirty talk the BEST thing in the world so that’s what I did!! As usual comments are greatly appreciated muah


End file.
